Hi guys!Thank you so much for coming by! ^_^ I really appreciated it! Today I want to talk to you about something near and dear to my heart: self-esteem and confidence. These are two things that I lack for quite a long time, for as long as I can remember really, and they're recent discoveries in my life. So, I wanted to share what worked for me and some other things that may help you as well.
1. Accomplish Something Tangible No Matter How Small (or Big!)
This, I believe, had the largest impact on me increasing my self-esteem and my confidence because I proved to myself that I could be successful. I didn't start out doing anything huge, mind you. When I first started I felt like I couldn't do anything right, to be honest. The first tangible thing I did was start making my bed.
Yes, I started making my bed. On a daily basis I knew there was at lease ONE area of my life that was organized. There was one area that I successful made into a beautiful space. :D From there I started making creations in video games and sharing them with others online. These included small things, like player homes, to large things, like stories around characters I created in the Sims. Every chapter I completed was something that I could look back on as an achievement.
From there, my achievements gradually, over time, grew larger and larger. It was a slow going process. One with set backs because of my low self-esteem and depression. But whenever I would take some steps back I would remind myself that I accomplished at least one thing, I made my bed.
Other small things you could accomplish daily are: going grocery shopping, making dinner, meal prepping for the week, completing a 10 minute workout, or cleaning one room in your house. These small things may not seem like much, but when you feel like you can't do ANYTHING right, trust me, doing at least one of these will show your brain (consciously or subconsciously) your line of thinking was wrong.
2. Repeat "I love myself" Almost Obsessively
So, everyday, I repeated out lout and in my head "I love myself". While I was showering, brushing my teeth, driving my car, walking, eating, before bed, upon waking. ANY moment that I wasn't doing something, I was telling myself "I love myself".
At first it was without conviction. At first, I just felt like an idiot. But after a few days, just DAYS, I was feeling pretty freaking good about myself. Haha! ^_^ I noticed that I was more motivated. I was kinder and happier. I was smiling more. I wasn't slouching as much. And I had finally started following my meal plan again. LOL!
3. Talk To Yourself
Say whaaaat?! Yup! This is something that I still do if my brain starts falling into the negative self-talk trap. I correct my negative thoughts by saying something like, "No, Marquita, that's not right. You ARE successful and you ARE going to graduate!" or "Remember, I'm actively CHOOSING to be positive right now. I'm choosing to respond to [situation] positively."
It took me awhile to learn when I was having negative self-talk because it was so ingrained in me. So, figuring that out is a must. Once you know your triggers (for me, not living up to unrealistic expectations) you can try visualizing a giant stop sign to stop the downard spiral of thoughts and then start correcting your negative thoughts with positive ones.
4. Remove the Word "Should" From Your Vocabulary
Trust me, your life will be a lot happier without that word. Should has a way of automatically setting you up for failure because if you don't do exactly what you should do (even if it's damn close) you've failed. Instead of saying "should" I say things like:
- would like to
- need to
- am trying to
It took me years to remove that word, it was something a psychologist suggested for me back in middle school (I'm 29 right now, btw). Now, after years of practice, that word actually doesn't come to mind.
5. Create a Success Record
Record down all of the accomplishments you've had and pull them out DAILY to read. For example, when I was working retail I had an email folder dedicated to customer praises, stories of helping customers find great last minute gifts, praises I got from managers, or any awards I got.
Now, as a Beachbody Coach, I keep track of messages from people that have said I've inspired them or changed their lives, my weight loss and fitness successes, and days that I've successfully done everything I'm supposed to do for my business (blog & social media posts, meeting new people, follow ups, the three vital behaviors, etc)
6. Read Books Around Improving Mental Health or Confidence
I've found that consuming LARGE quantities of positive and motivating material leaves my brain with very little time to lament on my failures, real or otherwise. Haha! There's just not enough room with all of the positive input for my brain to come up with nearly as much negativity as it used to be able to!
I'm currently reading "The Slight Edge". Next I will be reading "You Are A Bad Ass" and then "The Compound Effect" and then "Seven Habits of Highly Effective People" and then... You get the point!
And when I'm not reading, I'm LISTENING to podcasts or audiobooks about self-improvement. Much like how I repeated to myself constantly "I love myself", I'm upping my self-esteem and confidence by practically drowning myself in positivity. I know it sounds weird, but try it for three days and tell me what you think!
Thank you again for reading! Please feel free to check out the other entries that I have in the blog. AND, if there's any topics you'd like to learn more about that I haven't covered yet, especially in the areas of nutrition, fitness, and mental health, please feel free to comment below or fill out the form at the top of the page. :D
I hope you have a blessed day! <3
Future Reading:
Building Confidence and Self-esteem (Psychologytoday.com)
Self-esteem: Take Steps To Feel Better About Yourself (MayoClinic.com
