Six Ways To Build Self-esteem and Confidence

Hi guys!

Thank you so much for coming by!  ^_^  I really appreciated it!  Today I want to talk to you about something near and dear to my heart: self-esteem and confidence.  These are two things that I lack for quite a long time, for as long as I can remember really, and they're recent discoveries in my life.  So, I wanted to share what worked for me and some other things that may help you as well.

1. Accomplish Something Tangible No Matter How Small (or Big!)

This, I believe, had the largest impact on me increasing my self-esteem and my confidence because I proved to myself that I could be successful.  I didn't start out doing anything huge, mind you.  When I first started I felt like I couldn't do anything right, to be honest.  The first tangible thing I did was start making my bed.

Yes, I started making my bed.  On a daily basis I knew there was at lease ONE area of my life that was organized.  There was one area that I successful made into a beautiful space.  :D  From there I started making creations in video games and sharing them with others online.  These included small things, like player homes, to large things, like stories around characters I created in the Sims.  Every chapter I completed was something that I could look back on as an achievement.

From there, my achievements gradually, over time, grew larger and larger.  It was a slow going process.  One with set backs because of my low self-esteem and depression.  But whenever I would take some steps back I would remind myself that I accomplished at least one thing, I made my bed.

Other small things you could accomplish daily are: going grocery shopping, making dinner, meal prepping for the week, completing a 10 minute workout, or cleaning one room in your house.  These small things may not seem like much, but when you feel like you can't do ANYTHING right, trust me, doing at least one of these will show your brain (consciously or subconsciously) your line of thinking was wrong.

2. Repeat "I love myself" Almost Obsessively

I started doing this when I read it in the book "Love Yourself Like Your Life Depended On It".  I was highly surprised when this silly notion actually WORKED!  I gave into the idea of repeating this mantra because if I can harbor the spiritual beliefs that I have, then I should also be able to have faith in this process...no matter how silly it sounds.

So, everyday, I repeated out lout and in my head "I love myself".  While I was showering, brushing my teeth, driving my car, walking, eating, before bed, upon waking.  ANY moment that I wasn't doing something, I was telling myself "I love myself".

At first it was without conviction.  At first, I just felt like an idiot.  But after a few days, just DAYS, I was feeling pretty freaking good about myself.  Haha!  ^_^  I noticed that I was more motivated.  I was kinder and happier.  I was smiling more.  I wasn't slouching as much.  And I had finally started following my meal plan again.  LOL!

3. Talk To Yourself

Say whaaaat?!  Yup!  This is something that I still do if my brain starts falling into the negative self-talk trap.  I correct my negative thoughts by saying something like, "No, Marquita, that's not right.  You ARE successful and you ARE going to graduate!" or "Remember, I'm actively CHOOSING to be positive right now.  I'm choosing to respond to [situation] positively."

It took me awhile to learn when I was having negative self-talk because it was so ingrained in me.  So, figuring that out is a must.  Once you know your triggers (for me, not living up to unrealistic expectations) you can try visualizing a giant stop sign to stop the downard spiral of thoughts and then start correcting your negative thoughts with positive ones.

4. Remove the Word "Should" From Your Vocabulary

Trust me, your life will be a lot happier without that word.  Should has a way of automatically setting you up for failure because if you don't do exactly what you should do (even if it's damn close) you've failed.  Instead of saying "should" I say things like:
- would like to
- need to
- am trying to

It took me years to remove that word, it was something a psychologist suggested for me back in middle school (I'm 29 right now, btw).  Now, after years of practice, that word actually doesn't come to mind.

5.  Create a Success Record

Record down all of the accomplishments you've had and pull them out DAILY to read.  For example, when I was working retail I had an email folder dedicated to customer praises, stories of helping customers find great last minute gifts, praises I got from managers, or any awards I got.

Now, as a Beachbody Coach, I keep track of messages from people that have said I've inspired them or changed their lives, my weight loss and fitness successes, and days that I've successfully done everything I'm supposed to do for my business (blog & social media posts, meeting new people, follow ups, the three vital behaviors, etc)

6. Read Books Around Improving Mental Health or Confidence

I've found that consuming LARGE quantities of positive and motivating material leaves my brain with very little time to lament on my failures, real or otherwise.  Haha!  There's just not enough room with all of the positive input for my brain to come up with nearly as much negativity as it used to be able to!

I'm currently reading "The Slight Edge".  Next I will be reading "You Are A Bad Ass" and then "The Compound Effect" and then "Seven Habits of Highly Effective People" and then... You get the point!

And when I'm not reading, I'm LISTENING to podcasts or audiobooks about self-improvement.  Much like how I repeated to myself constantly "I love myself", I'm upping my self-esteem and confidence by practically drowning myself in positivity.  I know it sounds weird, but try it for three days and tell me what you think!



Thank you again for reading!  Please feel free to check out the other entries that I have in the blog.  AND, if there's any topics you'd like to learn more about that I haven't covered yet, especially in the areas of nutrition, fitness, and mental health, please feel free to comment below or fill out the form at the top of the page.  :D

I hope you have a blessed day! <3
Future Reading:

Building Confidence and Self-esteem (Psychologytoday.com)
Self-esteem: Take Steps To Feel Better About Yourself (MayoClinic.com

P90X Online Support Group Starting September 21st

Let's get the elephant in the room out of the way from the get go.  Cost.

If you don't have P90X already then you have TWO options for this group:

$140 = stream P90X for 90 DAYS and get one month of Shakeology
$205 = stream P90X for 30 DAYS, get the DVDs, and one month of Shakeology ($70 savings)

There!  The boring part, for me anyways, is out of the way!  So let's talk about what this group is and WHY it's going to help you get the results you want, especially if this isn't your first time trying to get fit and healthy.  This group is for people who are living crazy busy lives and are trying to find time to prioritize their health and create lasting healthy habits.  Together, as a team, we'll inspire each other, provide support, and encourage.  These groups turn out feeling like families of love and support, which is why I simply LOVE leading them!

The group will be starting Sept 21st, Oct 5th, and Oct 19th!


What You Get:
- P90X (we'll decide which one together)
- one month of Shakeology (and the ability to get the 2nd and 3rd months for 25% off)
- a customized meal plan around your needs and food allergies
- a workout calendar (no guessing about what to do on what day)
- a personal Beachbody coach (me) to guide you through the group, answer questions, and hold you accountable
- an online group of people working towards their goals so you can all work together as a GROUP and offer each other support and inspiration.

Who Is This For:
- ANYONE at ANY fitness level that wants to increase their strength while burning fat and get LASTING results
- anyone that's tried programs in the past but fell off the wagon
- anyone strapped for time but still wants to get results and eat healthy

The Workouts:
- Length 30 - 90 minutes depending on which version of P90X you get, so there's an option for EVERYONE
- All require some equipment (a pull up bar and weights/resistance bands) which we can get mailed to your house so everything comes at the same time or you can pick up on your own.

Why This Will Work This Time
- You'll have accountability provided by me to keep you going
- You'll have a support network of people that are working towards the same goals and who will build you up.
- You'll have an easy to understand and varied meal plan full of REAL FOOD that tastes amazing and you'll NEVER be hungry!  In fact, you'll likely be eating ever three hours to make sure you eat enough calories in a day!
- You'll get rewarded for your efforts!  I love prizes and swag.  You'll get free swag for completing the program AND you'll be entered to win Cize or 21 Day Fix (the winner picks).

Video Information
For the visual learners, like me, here's some videos to explain the program and the group.

- P90X3: https://youtu.be/6nlYthoaDrs
- Shakeology: https://youtu.be/aY4j9VYw_1I
- Support Group Concept: https://youtu.be/tY73Z6p3jl8


If you haven't run away yet, thank you soo much for reading!  I'm soo happy that you've come this far!  Now lets take the next step towards helping you reach your goals!  Contact me, make me your coach, and we'll get you ready for the group!

I'm so excited to get to meet you and help you reach your dreams!  ^__^
Coach Marquita
http://ahealthyspark.blogspot.com/p/lets-start-your-journey.html

p.s. Don't forget to ask me how you can continue to save 25% on all of your Beachbody purchases!

Mistakes I've Made In Building My Business

Mistakes Have Been Made...

As a Beachbody coach that's been around for awhile now, I feel like I need to pay it forward to the new coaches and to those that are considering coaching.  So, today I'm going to share with you some of the mistakes I made when building my online business.

Lack of Belief 

This is something that I still struggle with from time to time, I'll be honest.  However, the key difference between now and when I first started my online Beachbody business is that I'm actively working on believing in myself.  I am working on it daily by:

• Writing out my successes in the business and my life in general.
• Using Chalene Johnson's PUSH goal method to go after my goals. 
• Reading personal development daily.
• Being 100% candid with my performance and sharing with others when I'm having a bad day instead of showing the world only my good days.

My lack of belief also stopped me from getting myself out there with videos and even this blog!  I would say to myself that I shouldn't make videos because of my acne or because I don't look like the perfect girls on YouTube.  I would also talk myself out of making blogs because I didn't see myself as someone that could provide useful information. 

Lack of Organization

How can you know if you're making progress in your business if you're not tracking ANYTHING?!  For MONTHS I felt like I wasn't making any progress because I had nothing to compare my performance to.  I wasn't using the daily business tracker, nor was I tracking who I had talked to and who I needed to follow up with.

In fact, I LOST a few customers (and potential coaches) because I didn't follow up with them!  I had forgotten about our conversations and by the time I had gotten back to them they had lost their belief in me!  Seriously!  And I don't blame them.  I would've lost my faith in them too!  In fact, I had something similar happen to me after I had purchased a program from a coach.  I never heard from him and I had wanted to start working as a coach myself.  What happened?  I jumped ship and found Scottie.

Now, I track almost everything.  I am currently tracking:

• Advertisements and which prompt people to contact me.
• Videos and which prompt people to contact me
• Daily behaviors I perform
• Who I have contacted, including date, topic(s) of conversation, and if I've shared or invited something that I'm doing with them.
• Who I need to follow up with and the dates of the follow ups.
• People that I meet that I would love to have on my team of coaches so I can talk to them.

I feel like if I had been tracking these thing in the beginning my belief in myself wouldn't have stayed so low for so long.

Not Doing Personal Development

Yes, yes!  I know, I know!  If you're a coach of mine I bet you're tired of hearing me say this, but it helps soo much.  Personal development has helped me with my depression, my body image, and my time management.  

Personal development isn't always about mental health though, and maybe that's why people tend to avoid it.  Personal development is about looking at yourself and seeing areas of your life that you could improve.  For example, I'm someone who functions best in organized chaos but I was letting my apartment turn into just chaos.  So, a part of my personal development was learning how to work in an environment that is more structured and organized.  

Other types of personal development can be:

• learning communication skills.
• learning how to use different technologies/programs
• learning time management skills
• the act of getting out of your comfort zone.

Not Being Consistent

The greatest way to ensure success with any business, especially one where you don't have to leave home and go to an office, is CONSISTENCY!  Everyday you have to be working on the business.  This doesn't mean working every hour of everyday.  That would cause you to burn out faster than you can say "I'm exhausted!". 

No.  I mean doing something everyday, even if it's just for an hour, to work on building your business.  In Beachbody they've made knowing the minimum that you need to do to  build your business simple: The Three Vital Behaviors.

Yep, when I started I wasn't doing all three of the vital behaviors.  In fact, I was only doing one: be a product of the product.  I was doing my workouts and drinking my Shakeology.  I wish that I had dived into the personal development while I was doing my workouts though because I KNOW that doing that behavior would have gotten me to start sharing and inviting people to join me on my journey.

Didn't Treat My Business as a Business

Lastly, because this is getting kinda long, I wasn't treating my business like a business.  Working as a coach has the potential to be a SEVEN FIGURE (that's $1,000,000) business!  That's right!  And I wasn't treating it like that.  I was treating it like a hobby.  Even after I got my mind right and I contacted my sponsor coach to get plugged back into the community, I was treating it like a hobby.

Now, having this as a hobby isn't a bad thing by any means if that's what you want this business to be.  I, however, want this business to lay the foundation for a medical clinic to help people with eating disorders!  I NEED this business to be successful if I'm going to start up that clinic without a mountain of debt looming over me.  I've dealt with debt for almost a decade now and I don't want to have that in my future!  I don't want to have to stress about bills, for my home or for my business.  

If you want to grow this business into a million dollar business, or even a four figure business, you need to treat it like that every day!  You need to show up for your challengers.  You need to plug into social media.  You need to do your hour of power and get shit done!  Pardon my French, but it's the truth.  You can't put one foot in the water with this.  It's all or nothing, and that can be terrifying, especially at first when you don't see a huge return on your time investment.  When you're working 20+ hours a week on Beachbody and you only make $30 that month.  But it'll pay off in the end!  You just have to keep pushing and INSPIRE people with your drive and vision and then SHARE your drive and vision with as many people as possible!

Perfectionism at the Wrong Times

What's wrong with this picture?

So, there you have it.  The mistakes I've made as a Beachbody coach.  Hopefully you found this helpful. 

If you did, feel free to comment below or check out my YouTube video on the same topic. 

Thanks for reading!

My Beachbody Focus T25 Transformation

Before and After Focus T25

20lbs lost, infinite energy and positivity gained!  

This is the details of my Focus T25 Transformation!

Hi guys and thank you so much for coming!  I hope that my story gives you all the information you could possibly want to know about Focus T25 and how this program plus Beachbody changed my life!  Let’s get the first question I normally get out of the way: “Did it really work?”  YES!!  20lbs lost (55lbs lost over all from Beachbody programs and Shakeology).

Before Focus T25

It took me a VERY long time to actually start using Focus T25.  It sat on my shelf for AGES, I think at least a year, before I picked it up and pressed play.  Please forgive my foggy memory, the reason why I’m not sure of the exact time frame is because of PTSD.

PTSD and guilt pretty much stopped my life in 2013.  I was in a bad shape and I was lost.  I felt guilty over EVERYTHING and like I couldn’t do anything right.  I constantly thought that I wasn’t a good enough daughter, girlfriend, friend, and employee.  The few things that I saw myself as “ok” at, made me so anxious I was physically ill!  It was a dark time for me, one of the darkest in my life. 

I had gained A LOT of weight during this time through comfort eating.  I’m not sure how much I weighed at my heaviest because I had stopped getting on a scale.  I was terrified of what it would say!  I was already buying pants right before I went into work because even my “fat pants” weren’t fitting anymore, no matter how much I sucked my gut in, and I was on the path towards being obese again.  =(

In the middle of all of this chaos, I was going to counseling (and couple’s counseling) on a weekly basis.  These sessions got my head right enough to start doing two things that you’re always told to do when you have depression: eat right and exercise.  I’ve known this for YEARS!  I mean, I started my therapy for PTSD when I was in middle school.  But, like most of us with depression/anxiety related issues, I didn’t listen or, if I started, I didn’t follow through.

The Breaking Point

To be honest, I don’t think there was ANY specific moment.  It could’ve been when I couldn’t fit into any of my favorite jeans any more.  It could’ve been the moment I was driving in my car and I became painfully aware of how my stomach was hanging over my pants and how they were digging into my waist.  It could’ve been after a binger where I downed a tub of Edy’s Chocolate ice cream with brownie bits, a flavor I don’t even really like, without really tasting it.  It could’ve been during my marathon of Supersize vs Superskinny.

All I know is on random Wednesday I decided that I was going to do Focus T25 and I was going to see it through.  I went to the grocery store that day, brought all of the 25 for real foods that I’m not allergic to, and I put the first workout in my PS3.

The Result

I didn’t notice any real change the first few weeks.  I had always been drinking my Shakeology, so I didn’t get the extra energy boost that my dad got when he started drinking.  And I had cut down my sugar having foods to things with only 8g a serving.  So really, I felt WORSE after starting!  I was cranky!  I was sore!  And I just wanted chocolate!

HOWEVER, by week three I had noticed a shift.  My clothes were fitting differently.  The pants I had just purchased before work two weeks prior, were falling off if I didn’t roll them up several times in the waist.  And my mood was starting to shift.

Fast forward to the end of Alpha and I wasn’t modifying all of the workouts anymore and I didn’t miss my sugary fix!  In fact, I was looking forward to exercising, which was a strange thing for me!

By the end of Beta my life had completely changed.  Shaun T has a way of inspiring you and motivating you to make positive changes in your life and to push yourself harder than you thought possible.  I found myself carrying Shaun T's encouragement over into the rest of my life.  I felt that I could achieve my goals and purpose of helping other improve their lives through food and nutrition!

So, I quit my job and went back to college to study the ONE THING I’ve ALWAYS loved talking about (besides video games): food!  I LOVED learning about food and nutrition before I started Focus T25.  It’s something I had started studying when I was 185lbs.  It became a passion…almost an obsession.  So when I told my parents that I was going to quit my full time manager job and go back to school for Nutritional Sciences, they responded with “That makes sense”.  HAHAHA!

My favorite post T25 pants are too big now... T_T

Oh, and I had gone down 20 POUNDS from  exercising 25 MINUTES a day?!  And eating REAL FOOD!  Never feeling hungry!  Eating every three hours!  =P  No big deal, right?!  Haha!  The best part?  I've kept the weight off!  I actually went down 5 more pounds!  Haha!

Honestly, it blew my mind!  And that’s when I knew I had to switch from being a discount coach to save 25% on my Shakeology and become a coach to help others get their own transformation.I knew that I had to switch because that program had given me the CONFIDENCE to follow my dreams and had help me CONQUER my PTSD!  

I don't even know when my mind shifted.  I think it was just the combined effects of daily positive messages, workouts, and sound nutrition combined with month counseling sessions.  I give more credit to Beachbody though, because before I started Focus T25 I was having WEEKLY counseling sessions. 

Thank You!!

So, that's my story.  Thank you so much for reading!!  I was very hesitant to put it up because of how personal it is, but if my story can inspire others to make changes in their lives, then I figured I had to post it!

If you'd like to make your own transformation, fill out the form at the top!  :D  I would love to help you!  Already have a program?  Let's get you into another online support group!  ^_^  

Don't forget!  You can always become a coach to help others reach their dreams!