Sunday, March 2, 2014

The Benefits of Working on Myself...I Know My Purpose

I just realized tonight that it's been 60 days since I became a Beachbody coach.  I'm not where I want to be with the business but I have had success and I'm holding on to that because success means that I've reached out to people and they've taken strides to change their health for the better.

Anyways, during the first 60 days as a coach I was supposed to go through a "coach basics" course led by my mentor coach.  I got about a week in when my life decided that I needed to focus on something more important.  I know!  What could've been more important than following my life's dream of helping people through nutrition and exercise?  That dream is why I'm working two traditional jobs to get out of debt enough to pay to go back to college and get my nutrition degree.  That dream plays a huge part in my commitment to improve my own health.

However it turns out getting myself emotionally in the right mindset was what was more important.  It's something that I'm still working on, overcoming trauma and managing depression.  I've come a LONG way in the last 60 days.  I'm no longer relying on two medications, I understand myself and my mind more, I can talk to myself like I talk to everyone else (positively!!), and I can issue a self pep talk like no one's business.  I'm on the verge of...dare I say it, feeling truly happy on a regular basis!

My mind feels more focused and my drive is even stronger than it was for getting my body back.  I dug deeper below "I want to lose weight." and found soo many reasons that drive me so much harder, most of them selfish but I've come to realize that the honest reasons are what drive me the most.  I was treating wish to get healthy like...a wish.  As an after thought or something that I would like to have happen but probably won't happen.  I was mentally priming myself for failure, even though I wanted success.  Now, I NEED success.  It's a hunger that I haven't felt before, it's true motivation.
This same level of drive hit me tonight in regards to helping others live healthier lives.  It struck me so hard that I got choked up, I'm still getting teary eyed.   I wanted to make a video explaining why I want to help others and why I am a Beachbody coach, but I think I would just cry the whole way through, which is why I'm saying it in a blog instead.

I want to help others because that's what I'm supposed to do, I can feel it in my soul.  When I'm offering advice and helping people pick out workout programs (even free ones on here or bodybuilding.com) I feel complete.  I feel like I'm actually living my life instead of it just passing me by.  All of my life I've felt like time was slipping through my fingers and for the first time I have found something that negates that feeling.  I am not alive if I am not able to coach and guide someone through a lifestyle change...even though I'm still going through one myself.
I feel like a switch has been flipped in my head.  Everything makes sense because I not only know, I understand my life's purpose!  This is a glorious feeling!

(Originally posted on my Sparkpeople.com blog)

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